Whatcha textin bout Willis?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
