ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
