What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
