i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize