The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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