Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
