I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is Oprah even human
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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