lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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