I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
