i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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