And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
