I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
