I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
