He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
