Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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