So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
