just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
