He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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