I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
