i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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