You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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