were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize