This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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