I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we should paint friendship bongs
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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