You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
