I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
