I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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