Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
