i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
