He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
