and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
