I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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