we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
