yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
