You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
