She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
