so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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