Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
