I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
