no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
