all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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