so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
