i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
