god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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