but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This toilet bowl is my home.
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