Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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