Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
