We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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