Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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