She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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