How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
