Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
