I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
