does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
