WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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