What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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