I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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