so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A bitchslap is in order.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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