Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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