He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
