Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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