wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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